| FAQ/ASK KAY |
[Feb. 3rd, 2020|03:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | self indulgencetowne | ] |
FAQ ENTRY
ETA: ADVICE COLUMN |
|
|
| if this seems boring |
[Jan. 31st, 2020|06:32 pm] |
1/2 and 1/2 friends only---comment to get the good stuff
friends locks are to protect from the world outside livejournal; all you gotta do is ask
Oldie back entries are private, but I have a big ole book for sale of my entries from 2005:
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|12:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | unfaithful | ] |
Does anybody else have a blogspot blog/know of a good blog to follow? Just wondering
ps please follow mine: kaylyssa.blogspot.com |
|
|
| Betrayal |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|10:45 am] |
Well, I got an extremely negative reaction not just from lj but from my IRL friends! Here's what I'm going to do: I'll continue to post Friends-Only entries here at livejournal. Anything that would have been "public" here I'll put on blogspot (kaylyssa.blogspot.com) for my family/the real world. If you're not my "friend," ask to be added here or in the entry I have set up for that (above). I think that should work out for the best because where am I going to secretly gossip and whine? Not on blogspot :)
Sowwy; I wuv woo :( |
|
|
| Back to Tulle |
[Aug. 21st, 2009|05:19 pm] |
I'm feelin good. I'm equally excited about the first day of school and my birthday, which are conveniently on the same day. I got an A and a A- in my summer classes! I'm extremely proud of these grades. I seem to get a lot of A minuses though.
My sister and Greg are currently in their new home of Belize! http://www.gregandkevina.blogspot.com No entries from there yet though. We saw them off. I didn't cry. They'll be back for a visit in 6 months, and I'm just so proud of them and what they're doing is so awesome that I didn't feel sad. They'll have a great time.
My mom is staying with me until a few days after my birthday and today we got haircuts! My hair is sleek and expensive-looking. I'm so happy about that. It looked awful before. Then I asked what I was getting for my birthday and she said nothing and I asked if I could have ballet classes. She said yes! I will go once a week to the studio down the street. I'm so happy. The classes will be from my dad and 1 pair of vegan ballet slippers will be from my mom. http://www.cynthiakingdance.com/veganballetslippers.htm
So I was in Wilmington for a while but I am back and hopefully I will make all kinds of friends-only updates about my times back in college. I'm a junior but I'm only taking 1 300-level class because of my 2nd major. I'll be with kiddies most of the time. This is fine, I like the kiddies. I'm excited about my one English class, 17th century poetry, because I love the professor and I like studying literature that is not Too Stimulating. In contemporary lit I get all flustered and agitated.
Time to put on some clothes and visit Brandon. Soon he will be my roomie and there will be no visits! My mom is helping us organize but we haven't started moving actual things in here yet. I hope everyone is having happy back to school times or other sorts of times. |
|
|
| Countfrown |
[Aug. 12th, 2009|03:46 pm] |
According to my calculations, I should have an A- in world lit. I really hope that's true. I got 2 more FREAKIN Bs on my final stuff. It sent my already fragile emotions into a spin-dive. Then I went to school to sign up for Nice. I am signed up for Nice. I'm so scared and terrified. It's LESS than a YEAR. The guy was like, why didn't you sign up when you were supposed to? I felt stupid. It just SEEMED so far away. But it wasn't a big deal because there's plenty of space. I'm one of 5 students going! I wish we could all stay in an apartment instead of with scary, terrifying host families who only speak French. I know I know, immersion.
I'll get excited about it later right now I just want to throw up. I'm glad I have 2 more semesters of French to take before I go. But I need to supplement those with anything I can think of. Movies, podcasts. T'choupi.
I feel so flustered it's unbelievable. I'm flustered and mad and scared and tired. These are my feelings. Being on campus made me want to crawl into a hole. I think my meds stopped working. Sometimes I get that feeling. Hoobledeedoo I'm going to read a book in bed until I calm down or fall asleep, whichever comes first. |
|
|
| I'm the ladder |
[Aug. 11th, 2009|10:32 pm] |
I think I'm depressed again about not having gone to college when I was supposed to. I should have been working real jobs for four years, well six years now. When I graduate are people going to look at me like you oldie? Will my host family in Nice expect a nineteen year old? I turn 24 in a few weeks. Ugh it's not even that OLD I just feel so self-conscious about it. Woulda coulda shoulda right?
Tomorrow I'm going to go to school to turn in a form to join an honor society and then meet with the JBIP (John Belk International Program, the program that includes a trip abroad in every Queens student's tuition) offices to start applying for Nice. I'm so nervous about not speaking enough French, I mean I realize I'm going to learn the language but are immersion tours for touching up or for bumbling idiots? I'm the latter.
We've been Netflixing season 2 of Madmen. My new love is Peggy instead of Betty. Don looks like he got more muscles. He's on Conan tonight I think.
I finished my summer classes yesterday and immediately afterward I felt waves of restlessness. Last night I woke up at 3:30am and couldn't get back to sleep ever. Instead I took a few naps today. Not good. I need to start waking up early because my classes start at 8. Today Brandon is going out with friends but I don't feel like it. I will do WHATEVER I WANT. I will hunt people and things and my own self on the internet and not once will I think "I have to stop doing this because I need to start ____" Ha!
Oh. I ended up ordering those vegan boots I posted a picture of and um, no. Returning them. Nothing like the photo and had the overall "look and feel" of a fucking Halloween costume. So many things wrong and so cheaply made. Yes you should avoid animal skins in your boot construction but you should also avoid CARDBOARD and FOAM.
I saw this McDonald's commercial that bragged, "We're just as picky as you are."
I need to take BD for a run but the weather was crazy today. Leaves flew horizontal across the sky like birds. Later on. |
|
|
| J'ai vignt-trois ans, et alors! |
[Aug. 8th, 2009|01:02 pm] |
I have flip flop tan lines. Of course I do. Yesterday the car sale was a disaster. We circled 3 cars in a geometry puzzle on which we got an F. The buick wouldnt start. The jumper cables were too short. We even pushed the Buick around with our lady arms. We'll try again some other day.
I completed and turned in (uploaded) both of my final papers. ALL I have left are the final exams. I'm so scared about the papers. I hope I do well I HAVE to do well. However, I have come to terms with the fact that I may earn Bs. I know I tried my absolute hardest. There's nothing more I can do. I can study for the org comm exam, though. A study guide would be nice, but alas.
I walked BD just now and it is so hot. Hello August. Hello Birthday month, Birthday dog. I guess that's all. |
|
|
| Buick Tark Tatinue |
[Aug. 7th, 2009|02:46 pm] |
Hooray! Today I am selling my old Buick to Tatia. I really didn't want it to be scrapped. I love that car. My boat. I am selling it to her for a song.
My new car is nice. My mom bought a used Acura from her neighbor for me out of the blue a few months ago. It is one year younger than the Buick but I am not looking a gift car in the hood.
Last night I went out for a coupla beers. I finished my org comm paper. I need to do well on it and on the exam because I currently have an A- DAMNIT. Same with my other class. After I am a car salesman I will hunker down and knock some exams out and revise my bad lit paper. I got an idea to make it not so bad.
I went to trader joe's yesterday and got some vegan rice crispie treats! They're okay, kinda bizarre tasting. They have soy station fake cheese there which is NOT VEGAN. F. I do NOT get fake cheeses with milk products in them. Who buys them? There are so many different brands of cruelty-filled fake cheese. It's insane.
Brandon is going to move in with me at the end of the month. We can't afford a new place right now. I've been trying to de-fur everybody and everything but it is an uphill battle. I think it'll turn out fine, though. I just need to move things around in the office and put a crib where Birthday's bed is now. Hoo boy. I also need to clean the bathtub. I actually cleaned my toilet a few weeks ago and it's disgusting again already! I guess you clean a toilet once a week! I also swept like two days ago and there's already fur all over the floor again! Why can't you clean something once and be done with it? Housewifery is hard.
Brandon and I have been running 1 mile runs around the neighborhood. It's hot and horrible. I bought a scale to monitor my weight. I have weighed 138 lbs exactly for 2 years now. I would like to weigh 135 lbs. We'll see. I've also been lifting hand weights because my arms were looking like cafeteria lady arms I thought. Now they look nice and toned.
More than anything I want to take ballet class, I have dancing dreams and I seem to see dancers everywhere. I miss it so so much. |
|
|
| C'man |
[Aug. 6th, 2009|12:22 pm] |
Nobody writes in livejournal anymore. I wish they did.
Yesterday I bought 2 pairs of pants on sale at u.o. They are both by cheap monday. Skinny jeans, blue and plum. I also ordered the vegan boots. No more shopping for me!
I have to go to therapy later today. I don't have any feelings to talk about. My feeling is that I must do my homework. I should be doing that right now but I'm not. I'm going to walk BD in a few minutes. He got shots yesterday. I had to bring the doctors 1 turd in a baggie.
I'm stoked about school starting. I'm a junior! Soon I have to think about internships and I need to sign up to go to Nice next summer. I keep desperately listening to French podcasts and watching T'Choupi et Doudou on youtube but I still can't speak French. Let's leave our beloved animals and boyfriend in America and live with strangers in France's equivalent of Florida for four weeks while trying to tell everyone we are vegan in a language we don't speak I am soooo smart. Still though, I gotta do it. Opportunities like this come along never and if I am paying out the ass for my fancy education I might as well go to France for free.
My sister and her husband leave for Belize in two weeks. I have to go there for Spring Break! I just have to. I can't believe they'll be gone so soon and for so long.
Birthday is ready for his W. Ok ok ok. |
|
|
| No dice |
[Jul. 31st, 2009|10:33 pm] |
So on Monday Brandon woke up sick, and I went over there for 15 minutes to make toast for him before going home and doing some chores. A few hours later I went back over to his house feeling dizzy. I felt dizzier and dizzier. Finally, I puked. I had gotten sick from basically looking at him. I was up puking all night in 15-20 minute increments. The next day was the Bob Dylan concert in Durham and I thought I was feeling better i.e. that I was over the pukes. We piled ourselves in the car armed with animal crackers and gatorades. We got to Durham at 3:30 and stood in line outside the stadium to get good places once we got in. After some time in the sun with the overpowering smell of onion rings in the air, I started puking again. I puked in a parking garage and in a fancy bank bathroom. Finally I drove Brandon's car to a Red Roof Inn which I found and purchased with my road-comic genes. Once there, in the cool beautiful king sized bed, with the air on and a gatorade in the minifridge, I stopped puking. After a sweaty and exhausting 3-hour nap, I turned on the T.V. and watched More to Love. I started having kind of a good time. At 10:30 I picked Brandon up from the concert, only getting lost once. On the way back, we found a 24-hour Harris Teeter where I bought a microwave vegan sandwich and a loaf of sourdough bread and some chocolates. I would understand the chocolates the next day, when I got my period. Worst state-of-the-abdomen ever. Brandon said Dylan was awesome but played only 5 songs from before 1990. Brandon is one of those hardcore Dylan fans who owns every record even the one from 2009 and watches all the documentaries and movies over and over and plays all the songs on his guitar from a big tabulature book. The only other person I've met of this caliber is my American Lit professor. During his classes, I would try to absorb facts to test Brandon with later, but Brandon would always match up.
Brandon said John Mellencamp almost made him sick with his noise and cheese levels. He said Willie was awesome and "shredded." So mainly I'm sad I missed Willie but I'm not too broken up about it. I mean, I tried.
I really only feel remotely like myself again today, Friday. My appetite has been slow to come back, yet I feel bloated and like my body is made of jello.
Oh, in school news I got a letter in the mail saying I get to be inducted into some Communications honor society blah blah blah $40, mainly I get cords to wear at graduation. I wasn't sure how you get some cords and I am so excited. I wonder what color they will be. They will be so beautiful! I can't wait. |
|
|
| Longdry |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|02:39 pm] |
I'm about to leave for a stupid appointment. Today I woke up from a dream where I was rollerskating through a hilly NYC. I was going so fast and jumping expertly over obstacles. I woke up in a warm sweat. I got up and fixed tea, then started washing some dishes while listening to Stuff You Should Know podcasts. I learned about animals and ponzi schemes. I wish I had a job making a podcast. Book reviews? Literary analyses? Whatever.
Tomorrow we go to Durham to see Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, and John C. Mellencamp, only Brandon is not feeling well today so I don't know how that will go! I know he wouldn't miss Bob Dylan even if he was bleeding from his eyeballs but I feel so bad for him anyway. I also need to go take care of him instead of working on chores over here but that's okay, I can bring homework. I need to start working on final papers.
I guess it's about time to leave. Saturday night was ladies' night.
 |
|
|
| Let's go/they do not move |
[Jul. 24th, 2009|09:49 pm] |
All day today I felt crappy. I did homework for a zillion hours even though I did that yesterday, too. Two more weeks of this noise. Feels like two more YEARS. I've never hated summer SO HARD. It can't be good for your brain to make it read for so many hours at a time. I burst into tears an hour ago, at the end of the day. Brandon said I should have had a nap. But I like to pretend I don't need them. Maybe I'll watch an Intervention on the computer and feel less overwhelmed: I'm not addicted to drugs. I'm healthy. That rules.
I'm sooo ready for regular ass school to start. I can't wait to look a teacher in the face and raise my hand and ask a question. I can't wait to turn to the guy next to me and say "Hey did you do that assignment yet? Ugh I know right!"
I bought a dress today and a vest. We went on a lot of walks. I felt good on the walks but as soon as I sat down again I felt pooped. I wrote my parents a long e-mail telling them the news. That was tiring too.
Tomorrow I might get up and go for a run.
I want to get off this medicine ASAP. But the doctor never called me back and I forgot to pester her. I have to remember to call Monday. I wrote it in my planner. I just want to feel like myself and like I have an ounce of energy in these bones ever.
I guess I don't have anything to say. I feel very negative. I don't want to complain but I can't think of anything else. I think I will definitely watch a Intervention. I wish they would put the one about the feeding tube up on Hulu! |
|
|
| Sorry, I'm Beegan |
[Jul. 19th, 2009|01:12 pm] |
I went to a house show at the Yauhaus last night. All the girls there were wearing beautiful fashions and it was fun to look at. Some people had painted their faces with face paint. I felt like when you think of what your mom did in the 70s. She probably went to house parties where people painted their faces and everyone dressed in free love smocks. I was gothically wearing kneesocks and had my hair in a swoop again. Brandon's college buddies were in town and it was fun to watch, they acted like a bunch of dudes.
Many of the college buddies were in a band together and they ended up being awesome. The finale was MJ's Black and White with rapid heavy metal drums. This already ruled and then these 2 dudes with box cuts sprung up on the mics and started rapping. It blew everyone's mind. Apparently these 2 guys were rapping brothers or friends named like Brody and Chachi and they freestyled in the front yard for a long time after the show. All us white kids were gathered around feeling like the coolest people ever. One of them rhymed something with "Steely Dan" and I said "Wooo!" Brandon laughed but nobody else caught it. Heh
One of my professors has gone missing from the internet and I don't know what the homework is. I guess that's why I've been going out. Brandon and I wanted to go to a second party where most of my friends were, but we had a misadventure and never made it. Crenshaw, NC
I decided finally not to eat honey anymore. I never found information and stupidly assumed how could you harm a bee, they're free to fly around, they're probably happy making honey all the time. Well, apparently if hives do not meet production they will smoke out the bees or poison them or starve them to get rid of them. Even if the bees are doing well, some are inevitably squashed when honey or beeswax is removed from the hive. The queen bee may have her wings cut off. No good. No more honey.
I keep hearing stories about vegetarians eating meat again and I want to take them all into my house like orphans and feed them vegan food. Maybe I should open a commune. When I get pregnant I hope I have money to go to a nutritionist and raise my baby vegan. When Brandon and I find a place I want to either plant veggies in the yard or if there isn't a good yard, get some pots. Then I will cook fresh vegetables and they will be so yummy. I know if I take over cooking all the meals, Brandon will eat vegan at home and I don't care what he does with his own money. I don't care if dating a non-vegan isn't vegan, I don't care if my mom eats meat and my sister eats fish, I have to love and support all the humans and all the animals.
Now that my fingers are stretched out writing about my bleeding heart, it is time to write about Rigoletto the man. There were all these quotes from Verdi about how Rigoletto is a character worthy of Shakespeare and the greatest character every characterized and I'm like, didn't you write this? Brag much?
Today there's a cookout and we might ride the train to the record store. I've never been on the light rail. I've never bought a record. |
|
|
| Porctures |
[Jul. 18th, 2009|03:33 pm] |
I had to watch Rigoletto for school. I tentatively hate the opera. But I had to get this screen shot
( here i am ) |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
kaylyssa's journal
